| avenge my death! |
[19 Jan 2004|11:56pm] |
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mood |
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Hammer Smashed Face - Cannibal Corpse |
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Im back. YO! I decided to come back, well, because this is my least used journal that alot of people dont know about. Maybe it can live on without my parents reading it! OR MAYBE NOT? who knows. I dont have much to say now, just that I can wait til I get home in the morning and can find something nice to wear for my manfriend that I get to finally see tomorrow! n_n Anyway I should probably go to sleep now but I have a rant. Theres this dickass named Keifer that I was going to go out with about a month or so before I met chris. I WANT TO CRUSH HIM! I went to switch screen names and when I signed on he imed me. He wound up asking me if I was still going out with my boyfriend and I said yes, weve been going out for a little over three months now. Then he said something like *mumbles* it was worth a shot. I says to him, what? and hes all like if you ever broke up with your boyfriend would you give me another chance? I said that I doubted that we would break up any time soon and if we did I think I would probably die. Then he says something like Thats what everyone says, right before they wind up breaking up AND something like You can come to me instead of suicide. T__T I blocked him. I mean I know its true and all, that everyone says theyll be together forever and that most of those people break up and even though our relationship might not be any different than any of those people who do break up what the hell is wrong with thinking that things might work out?
I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN EVER GO OUT WITH YOU, KEIFER!!!!!!
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| YOUR MOM! |
[15 Nov 2003|02:18pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Its a Wonderful Life - Sparklehorse |
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Dag yo! Last night me an chris went to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre (again) and it was cool ass! We got awesome pictures at those photo sticker booths. Theyre so full of glory. In both of em im just stretching out my face and what not, you know pulling your mouth apart and sticking your nose up and pulling your eyelids down and all that groovy stuff. In the one hes all posing and in the other one that was a football one right where it has the football he put his face behind it and made it look like it was flying into his face. So cool, so cool. Yes christi..er..REED i played with his hair. *flips you off*
Oh well im just sitting here now being depressed for no reason. Weird, EH? Raychill has called me a thousand times since about 4 yesterday afternoon and its like GOD LEAVE ME ALONE. She wants me to hang out with her and keeps crying about all her problems that I cant relate to. I kept saying stuff like I DUNNO, MAN! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU... and she was all like YOU DONT KNOW ALOT DO YOU? Grr. Angryface.
I dunno! Boob!
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| doooooooot |
[06 Nov 2003|06:45am] |
 | The Big Five Personality Test | | Extroverted | |||||||||||| | 46% | | Introverted | |||||||||||||| | 54% | | Friendly | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Aggressive | |||||||||||| | 44% | | Orderly | |||||| | 26% | | Disorderly | |||||||||||||||||| | 74% | | Relaxed | |||| | 18% | | Emotional | |||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||||||||| | 74% | | Practical | |||||| | 26% | Take Free Big 5 Personality Test |
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| CURSES!!! |
[04 Nov 2003|08:39pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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raining blood - slayer |
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My attempts at putting fake blood on karas ass have failed. I put the fake blood on the seat and then I found out seats were changed and the seat with the blood on it was now empty and then she was all like HEY YOU BETTER LOOK AT THAT CHAIR and there was a big to-do about it and me and chris tried pretty hard not to laugh even though the mission failed. Chris thinks I should just randomly walk up to her and start kicking her to the curb. That might be more funny than anything. Imagine me just being like I CUT J00 MENG and start kicking her in her she-groin. HAWHAW. ANYWAY I had a dream that some china guy was all like whispering in my ear that me teeth were yellow and then he was like *licks side of face all homicidal like???* and then it started raining uncontrollably and my windows were open and i was all like NOOO and kept trying to close them but they wouldnt and water kept shooting into my room. THE END. OH!!! and just so I remember BEEF - SEXUAL MEAT, LIKE A PENIS. Damn I was in a pissy mood today and scheduled an appointment to see shrader and now I feel fine and dont want to. DAMN THESE MOOD SWINGS. Oh well. My hand itches. Last night me and chris went to christmas tree park and it was fun. I wish I had some sharpies with me though. I found a half full pack of marblororisrssj whatever those ciggs are called and he mangled them after smoking one and imploding and threw them somewhere never to be seen again. We lyed around on this weird log bridge thing of doomtm for like two and a half hours til it was really dark and creepy. It was all romantic-like though. I forgot my pink studded choker there and was all like dag yo I guess ill just come back for it tomorrow. We went and ate at shitz and then hung out for a while more and then I walked home at like nine. I came in today and chris was all like *gives me pink choker* and I was all like :O!!!!! He actually went all the way back to the park at around ten o clock with a flashlight and found it for me! ;_; hes so sweet. Anywho thats about all for now. DAAAG MY HAND ITCHES LIKE A MANIAC!!!!
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| I want medication. |
[02 Nov 2003|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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devious |
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music |
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hey ya - outkast |
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I just deleted a gigantic rant from this post because it was too much info but yes. I hope that I get to kick Cara Eckenrodes slutty little ass tomorrow maybe itll be good to let out some pent up anger. If you dont already know shes the chick whos been acting like a whore at chris in front of me and laughing in my fucking face about it. I dont think for even a second that she would ever steal chris or anything considering he hates her just as much and is pro me kicking the shit out of her but it makes me so mad that someone could possibly be as disrespectful and rude as she is. Ill teach her to fuck with me. Things shes done:
1) One day, probably like the third day of me and chris's relationship she hit him all flirty like saying teehee and what not and krista says "ooh you just hit chippys boyfriend" and cara says "oh you two are going out now" and i nod and she goes and kisses her hand and touches chris's shoulder and says MWAH and giggles and prances off to hang over some other guy.
2) Whilst passing out papers she gets to the point where shes by chris's desk and give him the paper and says something like "take it bitch, teehee *giggle*" and hits him with the paper. Chris looks at me like WTF and I look at her with flames in my eyes and she just laughs and continues with the paper passing outing. She also had to collect protractors and when she got to me she tried to hit me with the box when I was looking the other way.
3) Shes just plain annoying. Shes loud and her and her posse will bring up topics that have nothing to do with math and them and the teacher wind up having a class discussion that lasts most of the class. Friday we got papers to work on and some of them had the answers already on it by mistake. Everyone is all quiet about it so we wouldnt have to do any work and she says all loud "THE ANSWERS ARE ALREADY ON THIS PAPER" and the teacher was like oh well ill give you all a different assignment then.
If thats not enough reasons to kick her to the curb then im the queen of your mom. Comment possibly and let me know what you think or give me ideas and plots of evil things to do to her this week. Im thinking of filling up a spray bottle with fake blood and spraying it on her ass so it looks like she bled all over herself. But give me some feedback fools! XD
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| shitonastick :P |
[28 Oct 2003|09:09pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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loser - beck - fatboy slim remix |
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Ive determined finally the exact reason why I hate herbie. Its taken months of being annoyed by his crap to finally realize this but hes in almost every way the manifestation of everything I hate about myself. Everytime I see him im reminded of everything that makes me hate myself. I think of all the scars on my arm everytime I see him and everytime I see the scars I think of how similar the bad things about myself are to him. He has my whole doormat factor thats sort of not here anymore but is a little bit, he has the stupid angst that I used to have all the goddamn time, he has the stupid dress like a freak and look like a fucking moron factor, and he has the attention whore factor. I honestly dont think it would phase me at all if he really did kill himself and I sort of hope he does so I wont have to think about him or see him again and be reminded of things I have no need to think about anymore. Things are good for me now I shouldnt be depressed about stupid shit thats over and done with. I mean in the past three months ive gotten alot of great friends, the most groovy boyfriend, a good computer, plenty of clothes that are comfortable, a nice place to live, and a car I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT ANYTHING. If I get really depressed again im seriously considering going to the doctor and asking about getting some kind of medication. I mean ill be happy one minute and then like a few seconds later ill be depressed and a few minutes after that ill be happy again and its getting on my nerves. Oh well I just felt like ranting.
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| HEEEEEEEEEY BABEH!!!!1 |
[27 Oct 2003|03:23pm] |
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grateful |
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johnny poopoopants - group x |
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HOT DOG! XD; I went into school today and went to the office in the morning during the 15 minutes or so we get to chill out in the cafeteria every morning before the bell and asked them if they had found a purse. Unfortunately they said no. BUT, in second mod I got a pass and I looked at it and thought !!! OMFG !!! THEY FOUND MY BAG! So I ran downstairs and there it was. Suprisingly it wasnt wet so I mustve not dropped it outside and even more suprisingly NOTHING WAS STOLEN. I think negative thinking is better when I lose something. Normally I think oh man I bet its here its gotta be in this one place I left it and everything will be fine and itll turn up soon. When I think that I almost never find whatever I lost, my cell phone for example. This time I thought im fucking dead itll never show up someone probably stole it and im screwed and BAM! HERE IT IS! *double deuces the world* XDD;;; Anywho now that im in a decent mood I can actually talk about the dance and not about how it sucked because I lost my stuff. An overall rundown of the whole situation is this: ghettomusicbreakdancingm&mcostumestealingheadbangingpopcornchuckingbelchingslowdanceawkwardnessdennysbreakfastatnightYOURMOM!! THERE! Thats pretty much the gist of it.
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| dag, yo |
[26 Oct 2003|01:40am] |
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your freaking mom!!! |
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Good lord homecoming was fun. We all thought it was gonna be gay but afterwards we all agreed that every school dance is worth going to. I just wish I talked more than I didnt. Oh well. I just got back like ten minutes or whatever ago. It just seems though that no matter how good something is I always lose something and everything is screwed over. For example, chillathon was the best show ive ever been to but I just had to get my cell phone stolen. For homecoming I lose my farking bag with my wallet, my money, my moms god knows how expensive camera, my ids, etc. =__= I told my mom I left them in chris's moms car and that I have to get it monday and im praying to god that its somewhere at school. Man things would have been SO much better though if only I had talked more. My brain just goes blank whenever im around chris and it makes me so angry because if I could only act more like I do around my posse things would be so much better between us not that things are bad or anything. Man im fecking tired. Night fools?
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| doot |
[21 Oct 2003|06:29am] |
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bored |
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aphex twin - windowlicker |
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If you type in mysterio or the pope they both get the same answers. xD weird...
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| GROOVY |
[15 Oct 2003|05:41pm] |
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nauseated |
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gauntlet - hello cutie pie remicks |
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*eats m&ms* mandas coming over tomorrow to help me pry day of the dead out of my pos vcr. Funny story about these here M&M's actually, I didnt read the package and it said if theyre all speckled and tie die lookin that you win the contest and I opened it and some were and I was like o____o!!!! But then I read the bag and it said that they ALL had to be tie die. XDDD;;;; Im such an idiot. But man ive eaten WAY too many of these.
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| blargh. |
[15 Oct 2003|06:21am] |
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none |
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I come back to this and read what I read last night and then read other peoples journal entries. Makes me think, I have no REAL problems. I feel like an idiot for feeling that someone might care about any of my little issues I talk about in my LJ. I always feel that hey I live in a nice house and have a computer, a bike, and tons of other useless things that I want and dont really need, I should be happy right? I mean alot of my friends around here dont even own a computer. I should be happy that my dad makes so much money for us. But then again money cant buy happiness right? I just keep thinking stupid shit like this, constantly contradicting myself and somedays being so over the top happy and a few hours depressed as hell. I look at my arms and look at all the scars on them and think about how I was all pissed that HERBIES SUCH AN ASSHOLE HE MAKES HIS LIFE BAD AND BLAMES IT ON EVERYONE ELSE and I think gee that actually sounds alot like me. I feel that I should be happy now even though so shit happened last night but I really dont and even when im happy negative thoughts push themselves into my head. I really think I have a problem and as stubborn and hateful that I am towards going to the doctor I think I actually should. Whatever maybe today will go well and everything I thought this morning will dissapear until next time my dads an asshole at me.
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| pms bullshit |
[14 Oct 2003|09:40pm] |
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depressed |
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decided to play the same song as the last post |
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Why does my dad have to be such a complete asshole sometimes? No matter how great things are going for me he can make me feel worthless in a heartbeat. Its funny how often that happens too. It always happens to be when im PMSing too, maybe he has some kind of calender to tell when i'll be the most emotional so he can make me cry for his amusement. Thats stupid but thats what it fucking feels like. Things were going fine and in an hour it all feels like its gone down the drain for yes, I am depressed yet again. Not only did he scream at me while I was on the phone for not doing the goddamn dishes right, making me seem like some kind of trashbag in front of my boyfriend but then as he told me to get off the phone I told chris I would call him back and then right as I hung up he told me eight oclock was too late to talk on the phone and that I couldnt call back. Then after making me walk out in the pouring rain to RE-WALK the dog because I didnt do it right the first time I come in to go in my room and work on the invitations to my halloween ethan is sitting there saying how im SUPPOSSED to sit downstairs with him in case he has a seizure. I ask him if he wants to come upstairs and just sleep so hes not facing the TV so I can finish watching this zombie movie that I borrowed from chris and of course not he doesnt want it on at all because itll give him nightmares just like men in black did. So I turn the movie off and ethan changes his mind and leaves so I try to turn the vcr back on and it will not work. I press every button, I check the plugs, the FUCKING VCR THAT IVE ONLY USED THREE TIMES IN THE FOUR YEARS THAT IVE OWNED IT DIES WITH MY BOYFRIENDS FAVORITE MOVIE IN IT THAT I HAVE TO BRING BACK TOMORROW. So not only did I probably destroy this movie hes had since he was a kid but I never called him back either. If its not bad enough that I feel like I can barely talk to him because my mind always goes blank of everything I wanted to talk to him about when I have the opportunity to talk to him. Hes so sweet and funny and just EVERYTHING and I feel like im such a shitty girlfriend in return. Maybe ill stop pmsing soon and maybe things will go okay tomorrow. God...
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| ELEVATOR RAVE OF DOOM |
[14 Oct 2003|04:02pm] |
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amused |
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Timo Maas - Shifter |
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HAWHAW. A friend of mine, Alex, has a messed up knee and has a cane and cant walk up steps so he got a key to the elevator. Everyday at lunch we get to ride the elevator to the third floor with him. Today when we went I was jigging to this great song on my cd player and we got on and amanda pressed some wrong buttons and alex kept pressing to make them right and the elevator kept jerking around scaring the bejesus out of raychill and amanda and at the best part of the song I was just like EXDEE and started jumping up and down and alex was making the elevator jump with the buttons too and raychill and amanda were grabbing me trying to hold me down and I kept jumping and finally after a jerky ride the elevator got to our floor. It was so funny that they actually thought that the elevator was gonna break loose and we were gonna fall down the shaft and die. It was such a rush too, like some kind of elevator rave or something. I plan to do it again tomorrow xD.
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| HOLY ROD! |
[13 Oct 2003|07:29pm] |
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ecstatic |
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system of a down - peephole |
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Wow I havent written in the for freaking ever. I read back at some of my old crap and im so embarassed at what a dickass I was sometimes. Things are better now id have to say. My grades are half decent, im not being such a depressive asshole anymore, I have a life, I have a boyfriend, and things just seem good now. I was recently grounded for a week and a half and had no computer for all that time and needless to say it was actually good for me, the computer REALLY was affecting the way I acted. Since im happy now I dont eat tons of junk just because im bored or depressed and when I do try im just like oh god TOO MUCH. Normally ill eat more sushi at dinner than my dad even but now I eat less than my brother and im full up. That sounds weird though saying that, that im HAPPY. I mean I had every reason to at least feel decent before but now I feel EFFING GREAT! 0__0 It all started last tuesday. I had been out of school monday because I went to my grandparents for the weekend to go shopping because they had won the lottery playing my birthday numbers. I got a new coat that looks like that cool one I wanted at pimphats.com sorta! :D Anywho on tuesday I was in math talking to krista and it was just like me her chris and all his friends and all the people in math that are in math...and um stuff. Chris was sitting across from me and Krista was like you two should go out and i was like o_o? Secretly I had my eye on him for a while but you know I was just gonna not say anything ever about it and ignore any feelings I had for anyone. Then Krista was like do you like him and i was all like NO O_O and then she finally got it out of me. I was probably bright friggin red too I COULD TELL and I felt so embarassed. I NEVER tell anyone who I like. She kept threatening to tell him and I was all like noo NOO and she was like come on i think he like you! My cousin andy who is unfortunately in my class wanted his seat back (that chris was sitting in) and there was a an empty seat next to me and he moved there. His friends got him an empty seat or something and he was all like im fine here. We would talk a little bit sometimes about random stuff and krista was sitting on one side of me and chris on the other, krista threatening to tell him and me threatening to mangle her dead body's corpse if she even dared. WELL krista told this guy eric and eric said, no, SHOUTED, "OOOH! SHE LIKES YOU CHRIS YOU GUYS SHOULD ELOPE!!!" Meanwhile im sitting there bright red and wanting to die and theyre asking chris if he liked me and what not and krista asked him if he would go out with me and he smiled and shrugged. Or that might have been the next day im not sure. Well krista kept bothering him about going out with me and what not and i just sat and pretended not to be paying attention and doing my work. I heard him say something along the lines of "she wouldnt want to go out with me" and was just like :O and pretended to do work more and krista was like "but she does!" Anywho he went somewhere and people were talking to me and i said something like i feel like such an ass now, im sure he doesnt want to go out with me, i doubt he likes me blabla and the one guy was like he does like you though, i talked to him in first mod! anywho class ended and i went to the class thats by my next class where raychill, amanda, alex, and herbie have class (just them in a small classroom) and i fell on the floor and talked to them and they sent out theyre spies who were in chris's third and fourth mod classes. XD spies. Anywho then it was dismissal and tori and the other girl whos name im not sure of were like AWWW HES GONNA ASK YOU OUT HE WAS ALL HAPPY AND CUTE ABOUT ASKING YOU OUT *BOMBARDS*!!!
WELL. He DID ask me out and weve been going out for a few days now. Holy digshit batman. Its so weird man I dont remember feeling this great ever in my entire life. Chris is such a cutie pie (insert arnold quote here) hes teh sex man! I wish I knew him a little better when krista told him that I liked him but he glorious from what i know so far, man! *implodes* im just HAPPY. *DOES A FARKING JIG UP THE WALL*
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| I HAVE A STEAK N BAGEL MEAL STUCK IN MY EYE |
[15 Jul 2003|11:44am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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dont panic - coldplay |
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Im hating all of this right now. I hate how im so unbearably bored and im just being stupid and depressed about everything. I hate all these stupid artists on DA blowing theyre deviantart fame out of proportion and acting like they are fucking saints. I hate the fact that I know theres nothing in my future for me. I hate how I cant draw anything right now and I want to so badly but itll just be unoriginal shit copied from other artists. I hate how the only guy on the face of the earth that likes me is a nasty fat bastard who likes someone new every three months and obsessors over them. I FUCKING WANT TO KILL SOMETHING.
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| -_______- |
[13 Jul 2003|12:39pm] |
YARGH. IM INSANE WITH ANGER. REALLY I AM. ETHAN THREW A BASEBALL AT ME AND KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF MY ARMS. OKAY IM DONE.
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chippy_t's journal
